#13

gosh i will suck on monday. i haven't learn, and i've got a lot of homerwork.  fuck. but i've got the perfect relationship now: my bed, my laptop, music, cacao and pizza. we're a big family...
 everytime i think about monday i feel two thing: i can't wait it (really? i said that?) and i hate it. i want it because i miss my friends so much. i didn't see them since last year - haha, what funny i am. i think i don't have to explain why i hate it. everybody hates monday, and they are crying because of it. maybe i'd have to do, too. but what will be better if i cry my heart out? exactly: nothing.
 but at least i'm not sad. not happy, but not sad and it's something.

 it's better. everything gonna be alright. just not now. i will write until the last day of the holiday. it helps. i don't know what should i feel. that's normal? or i'm gonna be crazy? definitely, i have no idea.
 i want restart the holiday. i'd do a lots of things in another way.
 actually i don't know what i want now. at the moment. who i need? why i want to wake up every morning? at the first time of my life i have no one who is in love with me. yeah, that's kind of bitchy, but that's true. and weird. or i just don't even know. i'm a bitch.
 but...

...so i don't care. i love my friends. and if i have to be with someone i will be. because everything happens with a reason, and i love everyone who loves me. except one person, who just says he loves me. or two... whatever. the thing is: if you love me, and you didn't give me a reason why i can hate you, i love you.
 thanks.