#20

guys, i didn't remember that converse shoes are comfortable like that. i used to wear it, but it's an old story. nowadays i wore my boot. it wasn't bad, but my converse shoes... ahw, thanks gosh! i knew you love me!
 learning about the vestors in french... fine, it's not easy, but until today i've never learnt about vectors, so... lmao. my teacher talked about it, and it wasn't too hard. yap, in hungarian. but in french... god help me, because i don't know how will i learn it.
 today was the bitch's birthday. i told her 'happy b-day' and she was like: 'oh my gosh, i love you so-so much!'. what the fuck? bitch, i didn't save your life or something like that. just told ya something nice, specialy on your birthday. i can't follow this. how the... whatever. just not easy if there's someone embrassing.
 i talked about boys not too much. because i thought i didn't know anyone who... but that's not true. i know a boy who's really nice, and kind of hot, and he likes me. but there is a very big problem: my friend. i was the first who had feelings for him, but i didn't say it. months ago my friend told me she loves him. but the guy doesn't like her. i have no idea what should i do. i don't say if he'll ask me out i'll say yes. clearly i'd say no. why? because of my friend. she loves him, and i don't care what i feel, my friend is more important, than any boy.

actually i have no idea why did i write it. i likes him, but sometimes that's not enough for the fight. and i feel that: he doesn't worth it. not just because of my friend.
 i'm so nervous, because i have a kind of friend; it was a kind of dating... and i loved him. but we screwed up, the things are fucking damn between us. but i still feel like he's the one. and what if he's really the one, because of my lies? what if he's who i deserve? i'm sad of it. but sometimes i catch myself thinking about him. not in the romantic way. just thinking about him. like how is he looking today, or something like that.
 'i just decided being sad is a waste of my time.' yap, but if you feel it what should you do? you can't just switch off your feelings! (okay, you can but that's not good for you, and it doesn't work too much.) you can supress them, but you will feel it later. and that's wasting time.