#31

dear diary! i hate them. they judge me because i have feelings. but the sad thing is: i hate myself a lot better than them. i screwed up, and all of those shits vas happening... all of they are my mistake. i am the one who is fucking stupid. i am the one who is a jerk with the people who loves me.
 i am the one who alienated them.

#28

well, today was totally suck. i hate that day.
 i will fail of geography, and maybe maths. great. and i've got another one... fuck. my mom is totally embrassing, and i'm so mad. i mad at everyone. i don't wanna do this anyomore. i've learnt so much today, and i will, too. but i'm so tired.

#26

i can feel the spring. that's weird, but the spring is in the air! okay, maybe i hadn't to open the window. but that's great! spring is coming soon like heartbreaker was by justin bieber.
 i'm in my happy mood, finally. drawing - love moleskine -, listening music etc. i'm just feeling good. i don't have to learn so much for tomorrow, so i can be lazy. that's amazayn. :3 
 yesterday i was little bit angry. i still have no idea why. maybe because i didn't eat chocolate. yap, that's the reason... i don't know. but i feel so much better. yesterday, everytime when my mom asked me for doing something i was like: oh my gosh just shut up i'm trying to find the chocolate. okay i didn't say that, but she didn't know what's my problem so she just left.
 i was listening music. actually they are on now, too. i share with you.

• jay-z & justin timberlake - holy grail
• drake - hold on, we're going home
• lady gaga - applause
• katy perry & juicy j - dark horse
• luke bryan - that's my kind of night
• zedd & foxes - clarity
• phillip phillips - gone, gone, gone
• paramore - still into you
• ross copperman - holding on and letting go
• avicii - you make me
• awolnation - sail

that's just a little part of the list. yesterday was a musician day.
 today i will writing. yesterday i did, too. but i was in my bad mood, and i don't know it's good for the story or not. well, i'll watch it and then correct or not.
 still the one of the hottest quotes of marcus butler:

my name is marcus butler. remember it, because you will scream it later!

khm. if you know what i mean. he's hot and funny, the best pairing. love him, and all of the youtube crew. they're funny and lovely. for example: the harris guys, casper lee, troye sivan, tyler oakly, zoella, marcus butler, alfie deyes... i can go on, but there are so much names.
 i can't imagine my life without my fan things. actually what does the person who hasn't got favorite show, band or something like that. this is my life mostly. tweeting, blogging, youtube watching... and be a part of a fandom is really great. for example: directioners are my family. okay third family, but they are! if you aren't a part of something similar you can't understand.

#23

i'm so tired, so you too guys. so lets enjoy our weekend! we deserve it.

#20

guys, i didn't remember that converse shoes are comfortable like that. i used to wear it, but it's an old story. nowadays i wore my boot. it wasn't bad, but my converse shoes... ahw, thanks gosh! i knew you love me!
 learning about the vestors in french... fine, it's not easy, but until today i've never learnt about vectors, so... lmao. my teacher talked about it, and it wasn't too hard. yap, in hungarian. but in french... god help me, because i don't know how will i learn it.
 today was the bitch's birthday. i told her 'happy b-day' and she was like: 'oh my gosh, i love you so-so much!'. what the fuck? bitch, i didn't save your life or something like that. just told ya something nice, specialy on your birthday. i can't follow this. how the... whatever. just not easy if there's someone embrassing.
 i talked about boys not too much. because i thought i didn't know anyone who... but that's not true. i know a boy who's really nice, and kind of hot, and he likes me. but there is a very big problem: my friend. i was the first who had feelings for him, but i didn't say it. months ago my friend told me she loves him. but the guy doesn't like her. i have no idea what should i do. i don't say if he'll ask me out i'll say yes. clearly i'd say no. why? because of my friend. she loves him, and i don't care what i feel, my friend is more important, than any boy.

actually i have no idea why did i write it. i likes him, but sometimes that's not enough for the fight. and i feel that: he doesn't worth it. not just because of my friend.
 i'm so nervous, because i have a kind of friend; it was a kind of dating... and i loved him. but we screwed up, the things are fucking damn between us. but i still feel like he's the one. and what if he's really the one, because of my lies? what if he's who i deserve? i'm sad of it. but sometimes i catch myself thinking about him. not in the romantic way. just thinking about him. like how is he looking today, or something like that.
 'i just decided being sad is a waste of my time.' yap, but if you feel it what should you do? you can't just switch off your feelings! (okay, you can but that's not good for you, and it doesn't work too much.) you can supress them, but you will feel it later. and that's wasting time.

#19

yeah, well i'm totally loser. i'm gonna sleep at 18:10 pm. but, i'm so tired, so i don't give a fuck. sorry for the expression.
 today was ok. i don't really get it why she had that feeling, but that's not my problem.
 good evening everyone! hope you'll enjoy it! :-)

#17

well, this day was good, too. (am i sick or what...) we had a lot of fun today. maybe the teachers didn't like these moments, but who gives a fuck?

but there was a moment, when i felt terrible. after me and my friend told that story what had to learnt my favorite teacher (yap, i got one) said to her: 'you were unsure, that's why she messed up'. i hate it. yap, i forget - one time - the next line, but hello? that's not her mistake! just because she didn't learn it as well as the others doesn't mean that's why i screwed up! oh come on...
 but the other times i was happy. maybe i annoyed one of my friends with my big happiness... that's how it goes. you feel happy? ok. the life comes, and give a punch in your face. just because you were so-so happy. she told me: 'calm down, why are you laughing all the time?'. i have no idea. maybe because i'm a dick, and that's how i wanna annoying you. argh.
 and that moment when the bitch of your class starts flirting with every boy. oh, hey miss perfection! go to the hell with your... but that was funny because the most of the boys didn't give a fuck about her. am i evil? i don't think so, 'cuz i am not the only one who's feeling that...

one of the awkward moments when the younger kids have a relationship, and you... just standing right there like: i'm in love with nutella. is it normal? i mean, is it normal if i haven't got anyone who... you know, i'd like. is it?
 i miss that what a relationship means: feelings, holding hands, kisses... i just miss it. but i won't play the bitchy one who go out with every boy, just because she misses it. that's pathetic.
 i'm tired all the time. it's a circulation: tired, school, tired, home, tired, sleep, tired, school... fuck that.
 okay, i've just said wrong things. so, here good ones: i laughed a lot. my friends are really crazy. and that song 'talk dirty to me' didn't help us... that's all i can say, because if  i say more, i will laugh and then a i'll can't stop it... here it is. sorry.

#10

tired teenager + bed = thanks god.

but i know i will look like him (ahw him, just wish to be so beautiful like him...) in the next morning:

#2

actually, in new year's eve is nothing special. just another day, if you don't make it special. like your birthday. you feel the same if you don't go to a party.
 and i say the truth: i don't like new year's eve. the firework is everywhere, and it's really depressing - not just for the animals. (or maybe i'm an animal, too? who knows.) until now i didn't feel anything in new year's eve. it was like another party where i went with my friends. but yesterday/today was different. i relieved when the clock struck twelve. i don't know, maybe i'm not the same like last year, and that's why i felt it.
 however that's the point: i'm not the same. i changed. like everyone around me. i thought that's not good, but now i think it's great and horrible, in the same time. little bit strange.

happy new year's to everyone. i'm sorry if i was a jerk last year. don't worry! this year i will be, too. i promise.