i am overwhelmed about bullshit

welcome, welcome.

this page/blog/site (call what you want) is about the thoughts in my stupid head and the feelings in my credulous heart. i hope i won't scare you, but if i'll do: i'm sorry.

i don't expect the comments. firstly this is for me. here, i write the things what i can't say, i can't do. because being a 21 century kid is really not easy.

if you wanna read the bullshit | if you wanna know the nerd | if you wanna see her tumblr

 

 
team bacon and cacao

#7

everybody is gone. maybe not forever, but they aren't here. but i need someone. not a relationship, because nowadays most of them sucks. i need someone to talk about, to care about. a really friend. but now i don't have one. my friends are nice, and lovely, but they aren't here for me. they don't know me well like the old ones. but the oldies are gone.
 i feel like i'm really alone, just myself. and then... nothing. the last time when i was really happy... actually i don't remember that time.
 and if you hate someone who you have to love...

 ...such a damn situation. everyone espect to love him, but you just standing right there, and know: he doesn't deserve your love. everything what he did before is hurting you. he's there reason why you see nothing what you can love in yourself. yap, that's shit.
 now i feel everyone is hate me. i'm not a good person, i've made a lots of choices and all of they are  fucking bad. but i'll suck it, i can feel it.
 i feel empty. not just for the friends who's gone. i feel it for myself. i'm no one. i know nothing. i mean nothing. nobody needs me. such a trap.
 that one who i loved is a dick. i thought he'll be the one, but i was wrong. he's just an asshole. and the worst in it: i think i still love him. he was a dick with me, he hurts me all the time, but it's like there's no one i can love, so maybe he's the one who i deserve? i hate myself for it. my mistake.

i am the one who messed up. i've made all the wrong choices, and all of my choices the worst one is wich one? when did i screwed up?

Cmkk: song bad mode

#6

bad mode actived.

Cmkk: night sleep

#5

just sleep deeply. that's your world, and no one can take it from you.

Cmkk: writing story

#4

yay. i write a lot of story, and i think they'll never every be shared. i'm afraid of what the others will think about my writings. but it's such a great thing. :-)

#3

if your life would be a book every year would be chapter and every day a page.

Cmkk: suck over tired

#2

actually, in new year's eve is nothing special. just another day, if you don't make it special. like your birthday. you feel the same if you don't go to a party.
 and i say the truth: i don't like new year's eve. the firework is everywhere, and it's really depressing - not just for the animals. (or maybe i'm an animal, too? who knows.) until now i didn't feel anything in new year's eve. it was like another party where i went with my friends. but yesterday/today was different. i relieved when the clock struck twelve. i don't know, maybe i'm not the same like last year, and that's why i felt it.
 however that's the point: i'm not the same. i changed. like everyone around me. i thought that's not good, but now i think it's great and horrible, in the same time. little bit strange.

happy new year's to everyone. i'm sorry if i was a jerk last year. don't worry! this year i will be, too. i promise.

#1

now i see: started is the hardest, sometimes. but when you see the end is coming, that can be more painful.

Elejre | jabbak | Rgebbiek | Vgre |
 

 

 

 


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